One year ago. Can it be? A handful of posts later and the promise (expectation) of more to come. In the mean time, I thought I’d take a look at my site’s statistics. Nothing unexpected or extraordinary. Although, I did find the search arguments entertaining.

Here’s the top-30 list, most popular to least popular (with a few of my comments).

1. reluctant blogger

2. the reluctant blogger

3. have you seen this chicken

Yes and I have the shirt to prove it.

4. tearing up carpet

Do you want to actually tear it or just remove it? I can give you some advice on removing carpet and replacing it. But I can only express my feelings about wanting to tear carpet.

5. have you seen this chicken?

6. who wrote the reason we have two ears and one mouth is to listen the more and speak the less

7. fallen snow code

8. lifenut

9. lifenut blog

10. heart broken stranger gives away $15 000 ring

11. steps on how to draw spongebob

I could have my 4-year old son give you some tips. Or if you need some SpongeBob art on the quick I can sell it to you by the ream.

12. sammy ball

13. what if teenagers have a habit and love talking to strangers

What habit exactly if it’s not talking to strangers?

14. what does reluctant mean

Take a look at the frequency of my posts and you’ll get the drift.

15. cleaning the garage

I know my wife is becoming a blogging diva, but I wasn’t aware she’d acquired the ability to drop hints through text searching. Yikes!

16. gulfport see wall

17. poetry metric blog

18. meme truly love songs family closest to

19. prose on motivation

Hmm…

20. isolated husband makes me feel

21. purpose of jailhouse rock

I’m not Elvis so, I got nothing.

22. wallace gromit have you seen this chicken picture

23. have you seen this chicken shirt gromit

24. baking cookies for the guy you like

This one made my wife laugh.

25. reluctant

26. fraternity initiations

27. reluctant wife

28. i want a waffle

Odd. And yet somehow appropriate. I can’t quite describe why.

29. carpet stretcher how to video

30. in the bible when a brother and a sister fall in love

I don’t know what scares me more — that someone needs to have an answer to this search or that the Google interstate brought them here.

My beautiful wife tagged me for another meme. Read on for seven things I say…

1. “Flush the toilet people!” Not usually said so much as yelled. This most oft used saying is starting to turn into a curse phrase.

If you’ll notice, Mopsy posted her version of this quote as number two of her list of seven. I’m still reeling from the sheer ironic audacity of it considering she is queen of the non-flushing faction.

2. “Turn off the lights!” Also usually yelled. This meme is getting embarrassing especially given quote number…

3. “Close the door!” Yes I have become my father.

4. Let’s get on another subject please. “Sweets.” My favorite and potentially most embarrassing word. My wife is “sweets.” But I also call my daughter “sweets.” I’ve said goodbye to my mother and accidentally called her “sweets.” One time I even blurted out “sweets” to my nephew when he jumped off my (parked) truck and came crashing down onto his driveway.

5. “Bugger.” My wife would tell you I use this word because I secretly want to be British. That’s not true.

6. “Genius.” I stole this quote from my wife because I think she’s clever for using it. Notice I didn’t say genius. The reason? Her use is the pinnacle of sarcasm.

7. “Would you quit giving me memes?”

Or is it?

I think it’s safe to say how ever much my wife and I believe we think alike we are often on totally different planets. Venus and Mars? Cozy neighbors. Barzan II and Takar II is more like it. (Yes I am a geek, but I had to look it up here).

My wife politely reminded me I promised a second part to my bathroom story. Talk about being put in one’s place. I felt like the little Monopoly schnauzer being carried to jail. “Do not pass go. Do not collect $200!”

So today began much as yesterday with me thinking I’d have to write a sequel about something I experienced ages ago. (Except this ages ago was many more ages ago than the last ages ago). Are you following me? I’m not.

At the risk of spending yet another day posting a posting about a posting I’ll simply display the following links:

Beginning of a Great Adventure

I Walk the Line

The next bit is for my wife (and yes I do actually talk to her). The rest of you can read along to keep me accountable.

Sweets, are those the stories you were talking about? If so, I promise I’ll write a prequel to justify your sincere desire for a good multipart story. If not, please link to the story I need to finish in your next comment so I don’t get lost. Not that I need directions or anything. I just want to make sure we’re in the same galaxy.

Is it just me?

Monday my wife asked me when I was going to write part two of the downstairs plumbing disaster. The blank stare I sent back to her must have justified the question. “Aren’t you going to finish it?” she continued.

If my expression changed it was because I was overcome by confusion. “Did I promise a second part?” I asked.

“Yes.”

Now I was truly bewildered. I remembered writing Washing of the Water, but I couldn’t think how I promised a second part. Actually, I couldn’t even remember what I’d written. I could recall writing the post. I could recall saying something about the mess downstairs, but I had no idea what I’d said. So, I let the whole conversation go.

Except it’s been bothering me ever since. I spent yesterday composing the sequel in my head and was plotting today to get the thoughts out of my head. Just one problem. When I actually looked at my blog I couldn’t find any indication I’d promised part two.

There staring back at me with the same blank look I’d given my wife at the beginning of the week was a satisfyingly complete plumbing mess story. OK, I admit the jump from AAAARRRGGG!!! to Another Worthless Night was somewhat confusing, but it’s because the latter was the vent to the former.

The whole point of this post is to admit myself to the 12-step program of reluctant blogging. Yes, I’ve been a little too reluctant lately. Reluctance is one thing, but forgetting a post so completely because your just not spending the time you should with your blog is another.

Hot sunlight presses upon me. The only darkness is the fog in my head. I peel myself from the sticky heat soaked floor and trudge to the fridge. Nothing there but baking soda and a bottle of vodka. I toss the baking soda aside and reach for the bottle.

There’s pounding, a deep thud, more pounding, and then silence. I lean against the cool door letting the heat pour off my body. I follow the path of sounds through my cluttered memory and realize. There’s a package at the front door.

Forget the bottle. This could be interesting.

Venting to follow…