I am once again tagged to write a meme. So I give you Six Weird Things About Me.
By this time next week it will have been a month since I left for Gulfport. The images and emotions of that place still burn in my mind. I shot video while I was down there. I’ve been going through the tapes — gradually, a little at a time. While it’s true watching the video brings me back it’s still nothing compared to the memories I carry with me. Those memories are much stronger, much more true.
It’s been hard to watch the video, not because doing so sours me. Not because doing so drags me through a tough place. No. It’s hard to watch the video because the lessons I have from Gulfport are so much more real now than the images I recorded. The people are still in my prayers, and I can’t but think those images are just frozen bits of time. But the people are more real because I’m learning to see through God’s eyes.
His story marches on — with grace, with love. How does one capture such an awesome plan in a few short minutes of tape?
I’m back, and I know you’re saying, “He was gone?”
While it’s true I’ve not been known for being a daily blog (or even a weekly blog in some cases) I was actually away for a reason other than reluctance. I was in Gulfport Mississippi.
My trip to Gulfport was a mission. Most strictly I went as part of a mission trip sponsored each month by my church to help rebuild homes devastated by hurricane Katrina. But the word mission became true in so many more ways it’s unfair to leave it at just that.
There’s a lot of work to be done in Gulfport. So much still needs to be rebuilt an army would only begin to be adequate. So in that sense, I was part of a much bigger mission to rebuild.
But physical damage betrays the less obvious personal damage. It was obvious pain was turning into hope and determination within many people on the battered coast. What an exciting and fragile state. Like a bud poking through fertile soil such emotions need to be protected, guarded, and encouraged. I can as yet, barely describe the hope I felt lifting from the community. Our group tried to help that hope to grow – to mature into peace.
I also entered into a mission of discovery about myself. I learned (and continue) to learn a little more about my fears and my personal lack of ability to overcome. Six days in Mississippi taught me about patience, prayer, persistence and how self determination is an enemy with which to be reckoned. And I realized that is where the real mission is.
I went to Gulfport, left the smallest of fingerprints and returned home. Isn’t that how most of us work? We set out for temporary excitement and are only too glad to return to the safety of home. But what do we do when home no longer exists?
I learned is safety is not a place. Safety is an illusion we tie to a place to keep from facing fear. There’s not a lot of fear left to face when that place is destroyed and all you have to cling to is faith. I learned most of us make a practice of faith running to church and back once a week. But most of us don’t live faith – to live faith means to avoid clinging to our safe places. It means camping in uncertainty while carrying truth and hope in our hearts.
I learned a lot of the things I “knew” were things I still needed to learn.